Who’s had ‘the conversation’ with their elderly parents?
by Marc Bineham | 7 September 2021


Estate planning
Elements of ‘The Conversation’
The Money Sandwich webinar

After the Evalesco webinar last week with Jeff, a few people asked questions regarding ‘The Conversation’ – the talk you need to have eventually with your elderly parents. Up until you hit your 50s and 60s this is something you never really think about for your elderly parents. As till then, your parents always seem such strong, healthy people but there comes a point where you realise that age just catches up with them. They may still be active but its just not the same and you just know. Sometimes it happens over time but for a lot of us, it can happen quite suddenly with maybe a fall or a trauma. It is such an important thing to get right, I made this a whole chapter in my book and also wrote this article highlighting some of the major points. Hope you enjoy.

You’ve probably heard the expression, ‘You’ll have to take me out of here in a box’. You may even have heard it from your own parents. Reality, sadly, often gets in the way of this desire. To put it bluntly, some people outlive their ability to look after themselves at home and necessarily need to move into some form of aged care late in their life.

Rather than pretending this will never happen, it is far healthier, and potentially much less stressful for everyone in a family, if you can have a frank ‘What if the worst happens?’ conversation ahead of time, just in case.

Believe me, this is much better than being forced to make hasty decisions on the run in an already high-pressure situation.
Let’s look at the elements of ‘The Conversation’.

Who should be having ‘The Conversation’, and when?

Ideally ‘The Conversation’ is something that you and any siblings will have together with your parents. It should happen when everyone is in a good state of mind, and obviously while everyone – especially the older generation – have the mental capacity to be discussing serious matters.

Try not to spring it on your parents. Flag it ahead of time and arrange a suitable time and location. Ideally this won’t be the parents’ home, where emotional attachment might make the idea of leaving unbearable (and/or it is too easy for Mum to distract herself making tea). Perhaps make an occasion of it – a nice lunch at a quiet restaurant?
Another idea for approaching ‘The Conversation’ is to start with the estate planning topics – for instance, checking that your parents’ Wills exist and are current, and that you all know where the documents are located and who the executors are.

In some cases either you, your siblings or your parents may be uncomfortable with the idea of having this conversation. There can be numerous reasons for this, including the parent-child relationship being reversed or the fear of facing their own mortality.

If this is the case, you could organise a third person to be involved, such as a financial or legal adviser, or simply someone known and trusted by the family of a similar age who will not be a beneficiary of the estate.And, it might take several conversations over several months or even years. The important thing is to start ‘The Conversation’, to bring talking about the future planning of your parents/parents-in-law care into the present.

Decisions don’t have to made straight away. In fact early conversations are more about empowering the older generation to have their say about their future.
If you think getting control over your own finances is a challenge, just think about the shift you’re asking older people to make, so take it gently, have a box of tissues (for both of you) and best of luck.

Watch our webinar with Jeff and Marc here

Find out more about ‘The Money Sandwich’ here


Share on Facebook

Share on Email

Share on Linkedin

Marc Bineham
marc@evalesco.com.au | 02 9232 6800


Sign up to get the latest insights with our newsletter delivered straight to your inbox

“How will I measure the value or success of receiving financial advice?”

We believe the true value of financial advice isn’t found in dollars and cents (although this is important too!) but in the peace of mind a financial plan can provide. It’s knowing where you want to go and how to get there, with a dedicated team behind you every step of the way.

“How do I know Evalesco is the right fit for me?”

We know the impact of good holistic financial advice can make and we have the life experience, technical capability and quality support team that can make that difference for you. We’ve empowered over 1000 families through the delivery of great financial advice, to be healthy, wealthy and happy.

“How do I know how much money I will need to retire?”

The amount of super you’ll need when you retire depends on your big costs in retirement and the lifestyle you want. The Associate of Superannuation Funds of Australia (ASFA) estimates for a single $44,224 a year and for couples $62,562 a year is how much you may need. This is only an indicator and our advisers assess everyone’s individual circumstances.

“Why should I pay for financial advice?”

The fees we charge for financial advice is only a fraction of the value we derive for our clients, meaning our clients are always better off after seeing us. Rarely do we encounter a new client invested appropriately for their needs, with adequate risk protection, structuring and estate planning provisions in place. Even small tweaks to a financial plan over a long period of time can result in drastically better outcomes for our clients which eclipses the fees of the financial advice. Additionally, you can opt-out of an ongoing fee arrangement at any time.

“How do you charge for your services?”

In our discovery meeting with you our advisers discuss the initial advice fee and the ongoing fees associated with our services.

“What is the process for getting our own personal financial plan?”

After our initial phone call to discuss why you are seeking a financial adviser, we arrange a discovery meeting that outlines what is important to you, your current position, our areas of advice, our approach. We then present a Statement of Advice (SoA) to discuss your goals and our recommendations and go through the steps of how to proceed to the implementation stage. After signing the SoA, we discuss your questions, get you to sign the authority to proceed and complete any application forms before implementing the recommendations detailed in the SoA.

“Should I pay more off my mortgage or put more money into super?”

One thing to consider is the interest rate on your home loan in comparison to the rate of return on your super fund. Before making a decision, it’s also important to weigh up your stage in life, particularly your age and your appetite for risk. Whatever strategy you choose you’ll need to regularly review your options if you’re making regular voluntary super contributions or extra mortgage repayments. As bank interest rates move and markets fluctuate, the strategy you choose today may be different from the one that is right for you in the future

previous arrow
next arrow

Evalesco Financial Services Level 17, 20 Bond Street Sydney NSW 2000
Phone: (02) 9232 6800

The information provided on and made available through this website does not constitute financial product advice. The information is of a general nature only and does not take into account your individual objectives, financial situation or needs. It should not be used, relied upon, or treated as a substitute for specific professional advice. We recommend that you obtain your own independent professional advice before making any decision in relation to your particular requirements or circumstances. Evalesco Financial Services do not warrant the accuracy, completeness or currency of the information provided on and made available through this website. Past performance of any product discussed on this website is not indicative of future performance. Copyright © 2019 Evalesco Financial Services. All rights reserved

Evalesco Financial Services Pty Ltd is a Corporate Authorised Representative (325313) of Australian Advice Network Pty Ltd.

ABN: 13 602 917 297 AFSL: 472901